By RICHARD ZWOLINSKI, LMHC, CASAC
There’s been a spirited, well actually a heated, discussion going on at Facebook and by email regarding our blog post that asks: Should parents drug test their teens?
When we did the interview with Steve Stahovich of Teensavers, a home drug-testing company, we made the assumption that readers knew we weren’t suggesting that parents randomly test children for no reason.
We were addressing caring parents who noticed signs that their kids might be using drugs but didn’t know that home drug-testing is an option that allows for privacy and protection. We were also talking to concerned parents who don’t buy the myth that it is unavoidable or even normal, for kids to experiment with drugs. And we were speaking to parents who do not believe it’s okay, or even harmless, for kids to use drugs “recreationally”.
The responses from readers were, to me and the colleagues I talked about this topic with, passionate. Perhaps we were most disappointed (though not surprised) by the Facebook comment that says using drugs 2 or 3 three times on a weekend (not sure if this was a one-weekend party or on subsequent weekends) was “normal” for teens.
It might be common, but that doesn’t make it normal. And the difference is serious. Many kids manage to live their lives without even trying drugs once. Many, sadly, don’t.
Some people believe that experimenting with drugs is simply something teens are going to do. This is fatalistic thinking.
First, education and prevention does work. (Not for everybody and not all the time, and only if done skillfully).
Second, until very recently, people all over the world, including the United States, believed that illicit drug use wasn’t a good thing. Now we’re saying since “everybody” does it we have to look the other way.
Remember when you used to want to do something and you argued that all your friends were doing it? Your mom had a great answer for that: “Well, if everybody was jumping off the roof should I say go ahead and do that too?”
I’ve worked with literally thousands of families on every side of this issue. I know that the myth that some forms of illicit drug use isn’t a big deal is the viewpoint that gets the most play. But it actually isn’t the most prevalent viewpoint.
Most parents do not believe using drugs (or alcohol) is a simple, safe rite of passage, even if they themselves tried drugs when they were young. Now that they are adults they recognize the physical and emotional dangers. Sure, not everyone who tries drugs ends up addicted. But addiction isn’t the only danger.
There are many stories. Here’s one: I recently listened to a mom, a teacher, tell her daughter that the reason why she doesn’t want her to smoke pot is because when she was in college she passed out smoking pot and woke up to find that she was being raped. By a fellow student.
Think this is an extreme example? It’s not. Every day at the treatment center where I work, we hear how people were victimized, robbed, assaulted, and yes, even raped, because they were too high to defend themselves. Conversely, we work with parolees and prison groups, made up of men and women who committed crimes while high on drugs.
And in case you think this couldn’t happen in your nice neighborhood, you should know: Not all drug-related crimes happen in low socio-economic areas. I regularly volunteer to speak with kids-at-risk. Most of the neighborhoods where I speak are middle to upper-middle class.
In fact, my experience shows that many drug-related crimes are seriously under-reported when they occur in middle, upper-middle and even upper-class communities. Generally it’s because the victim and the perpetrator know each other or are even related. No one wants to turn in their neighbor’s kid, their own mom or husband, their best friend or members of their daughter’s lacrosse team.
If you don’t want to be convinced that even “flirting” with drug use is potentially hazardous, you won’t be convinced. What I can tell you is that the data tell a different story.
Part II, Coming Soon
Richard Zwolinski, LMHC, CASAC is the author of Therapy Revolution: Find Help, Get Better, and Move On Without Wasting Time or Money and is an internationally licensed psychotherapist and addiction specialist with over 25 years experience as well as a consultant to organizations and companies in the fields of mental health and addiction.
There’s been a spirited, well actually a heated, discussion going on at Facebook and by email regarding our blog post that asks: Should parents drug test their teens?
When we did the interview with Steve Stahovich of Teensavers, a home drug-testing company, we made the assumption that readers knew we weren’t suggesting that parents randomly test children for no reason.
We were addressing caring parents who noticed signs that their kids might be using drugs but didn’t know that home drug-testing is an option that allows for privacy and protection. We were also talking to concerned parents who don’t buy the myth that it is unavoidable or even normal, for kids to experiment with drugs. And we were speaking to parents who do not believe it’s okay, or even harmless, for kids to use drugs “recreationally”.
The responses from readers were, to me and the colleagues I talked about this topic with, passionate. Perhaps we were most disappointed (though not surprised) by the Facebook comment that says using drugs 2 or 3 three times on a weekend (not sure if this was a one-weekend party or on subsequent weekends) was “normal” for teens.
It might be common, but that doesn’t make it normal. And the difference is serious. Many kids manage to live their lives without even trying drugs once. Many, sadly, don’t.
Some people believe that experimenting with drugs is simply something teens are going to do. This is fatalistic thinking.
First, education and prevention does work. (Not for everybody and not all the time, and only if done skillfully).
Second, until very recently, people all over the world, including the United States, believed that illicit drug use wasn’t a good thing. Now we’re saying since “everybody” does it we have to look the other way.
Remember when you used to want to do something and you argued that all your friends were doing it? Your mom had a great answer for that: “Well, if everybody was jumping off the roof should I say go ahead and do that too?”
I’ve worked with literally thousands of families on every side of this issue. I know that the myth that some forms of illicit drug use isn’t a big deal is the viewpoint that gets the most play. But it actually isn’t the most prevalent viewpoint.
Most parents do not believe using drugs (or alcohol) is a simple, safe rite of passage, even if they themselves tried drugs when they were young. Now that they are adults they recognize the physical and emotional dangers. Sure, not everyone who tries drugs ends up addicted. But addiction isn’t the only danger.
There are many stories. Here’s one: I recently listened to a mom, a teacher, tell her daughter that the reason why she doesn’t want her to smoke pot is because when she was in college she passed out smoking pot and woke up to find that she was being raped. By a fellow student.
Think this is an extreme example? It’s not. Every day at the treatment center where I work, we hear how people were victimized, robbed, assaulted, and yes, even raped, because they were too high to defend themselves. Conversely, we work with parolees and prison groups, made up of men and women who committed crimes while high on drugs.
And in case you think this couldn’t happen in your nice neighborhood, you should know: Not all drug-related crimes happen in low socio-economic areas. I regularly volunteer to speak with kids-at-risk. Most of the neighborhoods where I speak are middle to upper-middle class.
In fact, my experience shows that many drug-related crimes are seriously under-reported when they occur in middle, upper-middle and even upper-class communities. Generally it’s because the victim and the perpetrator know each other or are even related. No one wants to turn in their neighbor’s kid, their own mom or husband, their best friend or members of their daughter’s lacrosse team.
If you don’t want to be convinced that even “flirting” with drug use is potentially hazardous, you won’t be convinced. What I can tell you is that the data tell a different story.
Part II, Coming Soon
Richard Zwolinski, LMHC, CASAC is the author of Therapy Revolution: Find Help, Get Better, and Move On Without Wasting Time or Money and is an internationally licensed psychotherapist and addiction specialist with over 25 years experience as well as a consultant to organizations and companies in the fields of mental health and addiction.
